Paul Mastin

If a loved one or family member is living with Alzheimer’s, Choosing Joy is worth your time

“The theme that stood out the most to me is the Berger’s love and affection for each other. Helen never wavered in her commitment to Ady, and Ady never ceased showing his affection for her, writing her daily notes, always acting as a gentleman when they were out. The disease did not lessen his sweet, loving nature. In her case, even with the changing nature of their relationship, she writes “my love for Ady during those six years not only did not diminish, it actually grew.”

Helen’s commitment to Ady included not giving up on his ability to grow and fight the effects of the disease. She considered it her mission “to do everything in my power to slow the process of decline and give my husband the greatest fulness of life.” Over the years, she saw a “shocking but indisputable improvement in Ady’s memory and functioning.” Even in the waning months of Ady’s life, she saw improvements in his cognition. Her experience, in some ways, contradicts the medical literature on Alzheimer’s, but she testifies that due to “constant mental stimulation, love, appreciation, and a nurturing, conflict-free, calm environment” Ady was able to achieve a level of regeneration.

Besides talking about her own experiences and her relationship with Ady, Helen has practical advice for caregivers. She clearly is not a medical professional, and doesn’t claim to be, but her insights on diet, exercise, and lifestyle are worthy of consideration. She also has insights on selecting and managing caregivers and home health aids, navigating doctor visits and emergency care, and planning the logistics of day-to-day life.

Helen and Ady may have had a charmed relationship, and they clearly have financial means that many families don’t. But no matter what your circumstances or relationship, Helen offers a perspective that caregivers will find worth reading. .”

Mama P

Must-Read for All Caregivers and a Blessing for Their Loved Ones

“I just finished reading Choosing Joy by Helene Berger – WOW! I am overwhelmed with emotion after reading this book. This book has the potential of being a life-changer for all caregivers and their loved ones, who are suffering from Alzheimer’s or any other disease. The message of this book demonstrates the power of positivity and offers clear, simple strategies for improving the quality of life of both the ones who are suffering from illness and those who love them. This book is a priceless gift to the reader from an author who is a truly beautiful person. I look forward to seeing interviews, podcasts, and articles promoting this huge contribution to the healthcare industry and to all people in general. The context of Choosing Joy has certainly had a great impact on my life. After reading this book, I have gained a better perspective and have become a more empathetic person. I simply cannot express the great significance and importance of this book to the quality of life of all – the sick, their caregivers, children, grandchildren, siblings, parents, friends. While the successful methods outlined in this book may not pertain to everyone, the premise and insights are there for one to adapt to their own unique situation. Don’t get discouraged if you do not receive the same results, but please approach with the same attitude of this author. Do yourself a favor…read this book! Almost everyone can relate to it in their life, if not now, then at some time in the future.”

Brian Perlman

Must-read

“Caring for loved ones that suffer from dementia is not for the feint of heart. Even getting fully educated on the condition and care alternatives can be overwhelming, as there are endless resources to choose from. I found “Choosing Joy” to be one of the two must-reads for caregivers, along with “The End of Alzheimer’s” (Bredesen). While the latter approaches the topic from a very clear-eyed medical/diet/exercise perspective, “Choosing Joy” supplies very practical, critically important wisdom on the often overlooked areas which end up making or breaking both caregiver and patient. Perspective, positivity, love and daily attention go right to the bottom line of quality of life for your loved one. These aspects unfortunately, but understandably, can and will get lost among the endless logistics of daily care short of a significant focus by the loved one. The author provides extremely useful perspective and tips for maintaining this critical focus and maximizing the limited resources of time and money. It is not at all surprising that her loved one experienced an improvement in cognitive functioning given this very thoughtful and loving approach to care. A must-read.”

Sophie Blair

Showing Dignity and Respect is key.

“My mother is a transplant recipient. I discovered that Choosing Joy crosses over to any illness, not just Alzheimer’s, in the way that one should care for another. I was in awe of the depth in which Mrs. Berger emphasized her constant focus on maintaining her husband’s dignity and respect during this caregiving process. Mrs Berger led by example. I learned from all of her hints, suggestions and constant reminders that the more you show love the more you will receive it from your patient. Thank you, Mrs Berger, for sharing your experience and educating us all with your helpful instructions. I truly enjoyed this book.”

Amazon Customer

Amazing book! Helpful and hopeful for everyone’s life.

“Full of practical wisdom and permission to follow your instincts for a life well-lived, whether care-giver or any human being. I am happily practicing choosing joy daily!”

Mary

Amazing story of hope which applies to all phases of life.

“I wish I had this book when my loved one was alive. It would have saved me from many days of anger and frustration.”

Arlene

More than a book of hope and joy – truly inspirational

“A beautifully written and truly inspiring account that provides a road map not only for how to provide meaningful and transformative care giving, but how to joyfully join in partnership with another person in a way that allows each to grow at the same time strengthening the bond you share. A deeply moving love story that articulates how to turn a devastating medical diagnosis into a period of growth and renewal for the patient, caregiver, family and friends.”

Frank K. Brown

Dementia Can Be Depressing. Why Not Choose Joy Instead?

“Receiving the diagnosis of Alzheimer’s and knowing that there is still no cure can lead to hopelessness and depression. Many accounts by caregivers confirm this. Helene Berger’s book challenges us to look at the situation differently. Her memoir offers another alternative. She chose joy and encourages others to do the same.
There are, of course, hurdles to cross. Among them is to recognize that it really is possible to experience joy while living with Alzheimer’s. Another is knowing what to do. Her book offers help with both.
There are three things I especially like about the book. It is a beautiful love story of her relationship with her husband, Ady, and how their complementary personalities worked together before and after his diagnosis.  Beyond that, the story describes how they successfully navigated their journey. In so doing, it represents a guide for other couples.
Finally, the author’s approach to caring demonstrates the value of taking an active approach to managing the disease. It is easy to accept that little can be done to help someone with dementia. This book is filled with ways that the author took charge to make her husband’s life as fulfilling as it could be. It is an excellent blend of “head and heart,” that is, the application of her knowledge of the disease and how to approach it along with love and tenderness.
Although Berger recognizes that situations vary significantly from one person or couple to another, she also provides a model that is flexible and can be adapted to meet the needs of others whose circumstances are different.
I am glad to recommend this book. It would be especially worthwhile to make it the first book one reads after diagnosis. That would allow more time to implement her ideas. On the other hand, choosing joy is always a good thing whenever it happens.”

Nancy Feekes

A walk in her shoes

“For some reason I felt this book would be a challenging read but also a possible resource if I would find myself in the same situation. It’s not that I am a caregiver to my husband but the potential is there. He has many debilitating health issues and I find it amazing that my patience has grown so much. Helene was a very loving and gracious caregiver and I’m very grateful she chose to share her path with us. I especially like the title as I am always looking for joy myself. Thank you for loving Ady as you have. This read has been a blessing.”

Dustin K

Positive

“So different from other books I’ve read. The author has a positive spin on the disease. All other books are negative and sad. Hers shows an amazing love story and life story.”

karla/watson

informative

“appreciating this book very much. with much joy comes heartache. this is helping me walk through that heartache with joy. thank you for the path.”

CCarroll

The Journey Can Give You Hope and Joy

“In this new book the author shows us what she learned in her six year journey of being a caregiver for her husband.  The journey it’s no different for someone caring for a person with Alzheimer’s, heart disease, cancer, any type of traumatic injury or illness. But this journey can give you hope and teach how to deal with the anger and frustration that you may find.
The author learned that caring with a joyful heart was important to her husband. Her belief was “fight the disease. Embrace the journey.” This allows you to find ways to help them be the best at where they are now in their journey. It also reminds us that positive reinforcement when they are angry and frustrated can have amazing results.

I love this statement – “people may experience loss of memory, of movement, of balance, of innovations and control, but they know instinctively when they are loved“

This seems odd to think that you can find happiness and joy in doing the most difficult job of your life. Many people say that caring for someone in their final years and final days is the most important time of their life.

I think a lot of this has to do with empowering the patient and allowing them to have a choice and everything that pertains to them. The author talks about dignity and respect and offering choices instead of suggesting and telling people what to do.

It makes sense when we say it that way, but in frustration and times of stress and anxiety, we probably do tend to tell people what to do which causes the other person anxiety and anger.

This book is full of examples of what she learned through years of journaling her thoughts and feelings about the journey. Her husband did remarkable things even with Alzheimer’s. This book allows you hope and maybe a different view being the caregiver to someone who is ill.

Berger shares with you information about hiring help, diet, doctors appointments, and so many other tips she learned during her six years plus stint of caretaking. And most importantly, how to give yourselves what you need. Taking care of yourself first allows you to be more capable of taking care of others.

Choosing Joy by Helene Berger is an important book for anyone who is giving care to others. I think it will make an impression on you and maybe help someone you may know and love.”

GILL

Excellent resource

“As a caregiver for my spouse for over eight years, I found this book to be so helpful as to the author’s practical and doable suggestions. For example: keep a folder with specific medical information to take every time you go to a medical appointment or hospital. I learned practical tips I applied to help organize the journey. This book does not need to be limited to those with Alzheimer’s. It is relevant to any major caregiving situation. I have given these as gifts to friends who are caring for a loved one.”

GirlintheWindow

“Choosing” is the operative word

“So many books about hopeless, terminal diseases focus on the patient, while the caregiver—often a loving life-partner or child—is neglected. Helene Berger’s experience reinforces the reality that Alzheimer’s is not a solo journey. Her discoveries and revelations in caring for her husband, Ady, underscore the important role of the partner/caregiver in the experience of the patient. Faced with a grim diagnosis and a runaway disease, Helene realized that ‘joy’ was a choice within her control. She dedicated herself to creating a life of variables and innovations that kept her husband steeped in moments of joy. This blanket of positivity alleviated the unspoken frustrations that commonly manifest in terminal patients, elevating Ady’s day-to-day existence to the point of relaxing many common attributes of advanced Alzheimer’s. As a result, the waning years of Ady’s life were spent in joy rather than agony, and Helene is left with the blessing that she made a difference in both his life and his death. Choosing Joy is not just a must-read guide for anyone who has or will deal with a chronically or terminally ill family member, it is also a love story that reminds us that the power of human connection is the best medicine of all.”

HH

An Incredible book!

“In astonishing depth and detail, Helene Berger’s guide to the perplexed entering the uncharted territory of dementia, Alzheimer, or other infirmities, offers practical advice to caretakers and kin on exercise, diet, sleep, safety, finding the right aides, and much more. At the same time, she offers encouragement — and even hope. As she tells the story of her husband Ady and how he…flourished under the regimen outlined and the philosophy that “reality is ours to make,” we begin to believe in happier outcomes for those we love who are afflicted with decline. A book that speaks to the inalienable dignity and godly spirit of every person.”