About the Book
Most accounts of Alzheimer’s describe a process of irreversible degeneration and decline. This is a book of hope. It is a rare success story — the story of a woman who refused to surrender to the expectations of her husband’s diagnosis, instead inspiring him to join her in making every moment they had together meaningful and precious.
A few months after their fiftieth anniversary, Ady Berger was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. “I don’t want to live anymore,” was his response. His wife, Helene, was determined to find creative ways to make their lives as fulfilling as possible, for as long as possible. She began to include him in every decision made on his behalf. Together they built the scaffolding that gave Ady the best chance for positive outcomes, physically, emotionally, and socially. He thrived with a solid foundation of constant mental stimulation and support.
Their efforts began to bear fruit. In his final years Ady again became known for his radiant smile; greeting friends by name; returning to the piano; playing chess; and beginning to draw pictures and writing nightly letters.
Helene Berger’s comprehensive guide chronicles the different elements that made this regeneration possible. Welcoming, positive, and honest, she shares her own difficult journey: her doubts and fears, failures and ultimate successes.
Choosing Joy includes:
- The importance of acceptance by both patient and caregiver
- The importance of changing the caregiver’s attitude from one of frustration and anger to kindness, appreciation, and support
- Ideas to keep the patient mentally stimulated and productive
- Methodology for negotiating joint solutions to the progressive challenges of a debilitating disease
- Detailed strategies for hiring and bringing out the best in aides, creating schedules to avoid confusion by both caregivers and patient, creating a safe and healthy home environment, and managing doctor/patient relationships and complicated medications
- Encouraging the caregiver to find the delicate balance between giving the best of herself while remaining whole and seeking her own fulfillment
- The life affirming insights Helene gleaned during and after the Alzheimer’s years
Caregivers of patients with any type of debilitating disease will find a wealth of information, ideas, and inspiration in Choosing Joy.
A brief statement from the author:
Ady’s story was unique. Whereas most accounts of Alzheimer’s describe a process of irreversible decline, Ady continued to improve. During his final two or three years, he was able to do and recall what was unthinkable in the early years. The book became a comprehensive guide describing why this regeneration was possible. Though totally unprepared for this unwanted journey, I ultimately learned, with Ady’s participation, to provide the support–physically, emotionally, and socially that allowed him to thrive. Hopefully, the lessons learned and conveyed in Choosing Joy, can be applied not just for those caring for a loved one, but to all the relationships we treasure in our lives.
Disclosure: I am not a doctor or researcher or professional. And perhaps, that’s the strength of this book. Yes, my career had me writing and speaking all over the country, but not on this subject (yet). I was one totally unprepared woman, as we all are, seeking to make our lives together as rich and rewarding as possible for as long as possible. I learned through keen observance of what was working and what was not. I learned from others, so many others. I never dreamed the result we had was possible. I wrote notes to myself on little scraps of paper, in a doctor’s office or at a concert. The idea of a book emerged as others kept coming to me asking for guidance when they witnessed Ady’s remarkable progress. It has been an amazing and totally unexpected journey. My hope is that this book will help others to realize that it is possible to create the conditions that encourage regeneration, happiness, and growth. It is possible to live with hope.