CHOOSING JOY

ALZHEIMER’S: A BOOK OF HOPE

“Choosing Joy is the #1 caregiving book of hope I’d want my family to read, should I ever be diagnosed with dementia.”

—THE CONFIDENT CAREGIVER by Benita Hampton

Helene Berger has written a rare book of hope, providing practical and emotional support to both the caregiver and patient. And all the while, it is a beautiful love story.

An uplifting and comprehensive guide for all caregivers.

Choosing Joy provides concrete methodologies learned over six years, as a totally unprepared woman became caregiver to her husband of 50 years. Helene describes her journey through actual stories, as she discovered what worked and what did not. The reader is given constant inspirational examples and a path to follow.

A Book of Hope

Most accounts of Alzheimer’s describe a process of irreversible degeneration and decline. This book offers a rare success story — the story of a woman who refused to surrender to the expectations of her husband’s diagnosis, instead inspiring him to join her in making every moment they had together meaningful and precious.

A few months after their fiftieth anniversary, Ady Berger was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.

When Ady heard the 3 fatal words, “You have Alzheimer’s,” he responded, “I don’t want to live anymore.” For much of the first year, he went down the typical Alzheimer’s path: frustration, anger, irritability. Helene, in her own words: “I realized that I had a role to play. I had skills learned over a lifetime. I couldn’t let this, gentle, kind, ethical, loving man go down without a fight.”

And so, the learning process began as Helene sought creative ways to make their lives as fulfilling as possible. Together, they built the scaffolding that gave Ady the best chance for positive outcomes, physically, emotionally, and socially. He thrived with a solid foundation of constant mental stimulation and loving support.

In his final years, Ady again became known for his radiant smile, greeting friends by name, returning to the piano, playing chess, beginning to draw pictures, and writing nightly letters to Helene.

Choosing Joy became a comprehensive guide that chronicles, in simple, layman’s terms, the different elements that enabled her husband, in his final years, to do what was unthinkable in the early years. The book is welcoming, positive, and honest, as she openly shares her own difficult journey: her doubts and fears, failures, and ultimate, unanticipated successes.

An interview with Helene Berger

“Helene Berger has written a lovely book that is packed with accessible wisdom and practical inspiration. Choosing Joy can provide us all—regardless of where we are in life—with the courage to pursue happiness and the road map to find it.”

—Tal Ben-Shahar, Happier and Choose the Life You Want

Listen to an excerpt from the book

An essential part of the printed book are the many graphics which show my husband’s steady improvement as the years went by. Each demonstrates both increasing cognition and a happy state of mind. Your listening experience will be richer if you open this link.

Paperback, Kindle and Audiobook available at:

Audiobook available at:

“This book gives concrete guidance and delivers a message of joy and hope to all who must make this journey. I recommend it to any family struggling with Alzheimer’s or dementia.”

—Ranjan Duara, MD

Medical Director, Wien Center for Alzheimer’s Disease & Memory Disorders, Mount Sinai Medical Center, Miami Beach

Choosing Joy offers:

  • Insight into the importance of acceptance by both patient and caregiver

  • Guidance on changing the caregiver’s attitude from one of frustration and anger to kindness, appreciation, and support

  • Ideas to keep the patient mentally stimulated and productive

  • Methodology for negotiating joint solutions to the progressive challenges of a debilitating disease

  • Detailed strategies for hiring and bringing out the best in aides, creating schedules to avoid confusion by both caregivers and patient, creating a safe and healthy home environment, and managing doctor/patient relationships and complicated medications 

  • Support for the caregiver to find the delicate balance between giving the best of herself while remaining whole and seeking her own fulfillment

Helene and Ady Berger’s wedding day.

Helene and Ady Berger’s 50th wedding anniversary.

Reviews

  • This book will change your life

    “You know how every once in a great while, you read a book that touches something deep inside you, and you just know that you’ll never be the same? That is THIS book. I cannot stop talking about it!

    While reading Choosing Joy, I had moments of laughter, moments when I had tears rolling down my cheeks, and moments when I was nodding my head in agreement with Helene’s words and cheering her and Ady on. Choosing Joy isn’t a sad story about Ady’s last years. It’s a story of hope, love and teamwork and the power of a woman who decided to choose joy. Please purchase this book; it will change your life…it’s just that good!”

    —Benita Hampton, The Confident Caregiver

  • A Must Read!

    “Choosing Joy supplies very practical, critically important wisdom on the often overlooked areas that end up making or breaking both caregiver and patient. Perspective, positivity, love, and daily attention go right to the bottom line of quality of life for your loved one. These aspects, unfortunately but understandably, can and will get lost among the endless logistics of daily care short of a significant focus by the loved one. The author provides extremely useful perspective and tips for maintaining this critical focus and maximizing the limited resources of time and money.”

    —Brian Perlman

  • I recommend this book to any family struggling with Alzheimer’s or dementia.

    “Helene and Ady succeeded in finding ways to make their lives happy and fulfilling — and Ady continued, against all odds, to improve in his final years. Choosing Joy gives concrete guidance and delivers a message of joy and hope to all who must make this journey.”

    —Ranjan Duara, MD
    Medical Director, Wien Center for Alzheimer’s Disease & Memory Disorders, Mount Sinai Medical Center, Miami Beach

  • Thank you!

    “My mother is a transplant recipient. I discovered that Choosing Joy crosses over to any illness, not just Alzheimer’s, in the way that one should care for another. I was in awe of the depth in which Mrs. Berger emphasized her constant focus on maintaining her husband’s dignity and respect during this caregiving process. I learned from all of her hints, suggestions and constant reminders that the more you show love the more you will receive it from your patient. Thank you, Mrs. Berger, for sharing your experience and educating us all with your helpful instructions. I truly enjoyed this book!”

    —Sophie Blair

  • Truly inspirational!

    “A beautifully written and truly inspiring account that provides a road map not only for how to provide meaningful and transformative care giving, but how to joyfully join in partnership with another person in a way that allows each to grow at the same time strengthening the bond you share. A deeply moving love story that articulates how to turn a devastating medical diagnosis into a period of growth and renewal for the patient, caregiver, family and friends.”

    —Arlene 

A note from the author

My husband’s amazing success was never envisioned.

In the first year, Ady went down the typical Alzheimer’s path with the predicted symptoms. During the next five years, he became known as the man with the radiant smile. In his later years, instead of declining, he greeted friends by name. They would ask “Are you sure he has Alzheimer’s?” He began to try new and different experiences and return to what he loved. After his diagnosis he stopped playing the piano for three years. With a little encouragement, he returned playing with delight every day.

It is my fervent hope one doesn’t have to sit idly by watching a loved one decline. OUR ATTITUDE CAN AND DOES MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

I am eternally grateful to the many readers who have written that the book is universal. A diet of kindness, patience, compassion, constant mental stimulation, support, encouragement and love can make all relationships better.

“I hope the reader will come away with support physically, emotionally, and socially, enabling both patient and caregiver to thrive.” —Helene Berger